Sunday, March 15, 2015

Biker Warrior Babe vs Zombie Babies from Hell (2014)

I know it’s been a while, but I’m still here and still watching the worst movies you people send my way.

Moving forward, instead of writing out reviews, I’m going towards a video format.  Please check out the link below for my first video and let me know what you think.  If you liked it, please subscribe to my channel to keep updated on all the newest awful movies.

Biker Warrior Babe vs Zombie Babies from Hell - Youtube Review

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Home Alone the Holiday Heist - 2012

When I was four years old, my family and I sat down and watched Home Alone together.  Kevin McCallister, played by Macaulay Culkin, was left home alone after a series of unfortunate events led to his parents leaving on a trip for France without him.  Kevin was forced to fend for himself using guile and cunning to outwit Harry and Marv, a pair of thieves known as the "Wet Bandits", played by Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern.  My family and I laughed when Marv was hit in the face with an iron.  When Harry caught Kevin and lifted him up, I remember the very real feeling of being scared.  And at the end of the movie, when the police finally caught the bad guys and the McCallister family was reunited, it felt good.  It felt like the good guys won.

My family wasn't big into the idea of Christmas, and sitting down to watch Home Alone and Home Alone 2 each year was the closest we got to a "holiday tradition".  It may not sound like much, but it meant a lot to me.  We grew older, I moved out, and life just kind of continued.

Recently, I've discovered that Home Alone 5 was released in 2012, as a made for TV movie. This raised many questions for me, such as, "Was there a Home Alone 3 and Home Alone 4?" and "Why does God hate us?"

Forgive me, for I have sinned.

These answers would come soon enough, as the DVD was less than $10 on Amazon, and I have no real impulse control.

Monday, September 9, 2013

What’s UP: Balloon to the Rescue! (2009)

Hollywood is a very busy place with thousands of hardworking people collaborating every day to create films.  There’s the big players, like the directors, the producers, and the actors that we all know.  Then there are people with lesser celebrated, yet equally important, roles.  These people work behind the scenes, they are the cameramen, the boom operators, the animators, the lighting people, etc.  Every one of these people has a very important job that, with their combined efforts, creates cinema.  It tells a story that can make us laugh or cry or even change the way we think about the world.

What’s UP: Balloon to the Rescue!” was not made this way.  This movie was most likely created by a team of four during the course of an alcohol fueled weekend in New Jersey.


I apologize if I’ve offended alcoholics and people from Jersey.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Deatherman - 2012

By now, most of you know that I'm a huge fan of low/no budget films and just about anything independent.  I will always rate a bad independent film more favorably than a bad studio film.  If big name actors like, say, Adam Sandler or Al Pacino make an awful movie about some shitty twin love connection, that's not ok.  You expect better from years worth of experience and millions of dollars invested.  You don't expect a rap song about goddamn coffee and 15 minute poop jokes.  However, if one guy and a small group of his friends make a movie of questionable quality, you're more likely to be ok with it.

Tonight I watch Deatherman, the story of a weatherman who just wants a little respect. 


Also, murder.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Ball’s Out! - 2009

After my recent review of Kung Fu Joe, I got an email from a member of Ball's Out Films asking if I'd like to give their movie a shot.

Now, let's make something clear, I got as far as "Balls Out Films", and immediately decided that I would watch anything they had to present.  The actual content of the film was unimportant.


With an estimated budget of $1000, according to their IMDB page, I'm absolutely positive that this is going to be awesome.